<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Less Than an Immaculate Conception by FluffyGlitterPantsDragon</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832818">Less Than an Immaculate Conception</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyGlitterPantsDragon/pseuds/FluffyGlitterPantsDragon'>FluffyGlitterPantsDragon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Joys of Public Service [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lucifer (TV), Scrubs (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Assumed Relationship, Crack, Don't Try This At Home, Drama, F/M, Family, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Mpreg, Multi, Sickfic, Tags Contain Spoilers, Vomiting, body fluids</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:28:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832818</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyGlitterPantsDragon/pseuds/FluffyGlitterPantsDragon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan doesn't feel so good, Lucifer drags him to Sacred Heart for tests, which yield unexpected results. </p>
<p>Trigger Warning in top notes</p>
<p>Thank you in advance for continuing with me on my insanity. I appreciate it. Can't really be read out of order - but the short version is that everyone knows about Lucifer. And JD is dating Eve, but it's off-camera in this segment.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amenadiel/Linda Martin (Lucifer TV), Chloe Decker/Dan Espinoza/Lucifer Morningstar, John "JD" Dorian/Eve (Lucifer TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Joys of Public Service [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1018827</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Less Than an Immaculate Conception</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>first things first - TRIGGER WARNING - discussion of possible medical issues as well as discussions about less than awesome possible outcomes due to mpreg. Some potential medical options or even advisories will not be discussed, though in reality they very likely would be at least considered if not strongly recommended. This fic is fluff. And comedy.<br/>----<br/>Thank you to Just_Mad_Enough and GlitterSkullFairy for my partners in crime and or madness. And sometimes glitter.</p>
<p>---<br/>Story set around Season 4 of Scrubs, S4 of Lucifer - ish. Other than JD, Scrubs ships are canonical.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carla missed real coffee in <em> real </em> amounts. As a nurse, the stuff was practically a daily requirement. As an expecting mother, her allowed amount of non-decaf was the best part of every shift.</p>
<p>At least she could have sugar. It was that or take people's heads off. </p>
<p>Today had started nicely enough as another beautiful day in California. Hardly anyone - patients or coworkers - were grating on her nerves. Her husband had gone into full 'support' mode for the upcoming birth and Elliot hadn’t even said anything even passingly elitist today. She wasn't holding her breath, but her growing baby had held off kicking her ribs this morning, so that was another plus.</p>
<p>Then suddenly her phone buzzed with a heads up text from Chloe, with the word ‘incoming’ and a devil face emoji, accompanied by an eggplant icon. Carla suddenly missed her simple hospital pager. No additional message was forthcoming, so she assumed this wasn’t an emergency <em> this </em> time. She hauled herself up from behind the counter, strolling toward the sliding doors to greet them before all hell broke loose. Again.</p>
<p>Before too long, the becoming-familiar roar of a certain classic car entered the parking lot of Sacred Heart.</p>
<p>Carla smiled warmly as her favorite cousin and his Devil jumped out of the convertible as soon as he parked, nearly burning rubber as it slid neatly into place next to Dr. Cox’s equally fancy car.</p>
<p>Her good humor vanished as she realized they were yelling at each other.</p>
<p>Oh boy.</p>
<p>Lucifer himself led the way, and without even a gesture, the sliding glass doors slammed open hard enough to rattle the glass (Janitor was going to be pissed), quivering in their tracks. Lucifer’s rising voice rang out over Dan’s, walking in front of him and making for the entrance like a bat out of Hell. Or maybe into Hell. </p>
<p>
  <em> Wait, was that a literal-? </em>
</p>
<p>Carla would swear at that moment that actual hot air <em> whooshed </em> in around him in a minor self-constructed gale. He stalked directly to Carla, eyes just shy of showing fire. “We are going to put an end to this nonsense at once!”</p>
<p>A number of people quietly observing from nearby chairs looked up at the commotion and then quickly back down at their phones or magazines. One teen unobtrusively pointed his device at Lucifer without looking their way. </p>
<p>She’d never seen him look more like the Devil himself, and Dan - <em> Dan </em> looked like he was on the verge of <em> tears</em>. She hadn’t seen him look so distraught since the time the three of them descended on her hospital with a badly injured angel wing and Lucifer went in for surgery. She turned up her glare on Lucifer to eleven, looking up at him as he towered over her like he owned the place. (After the last few donations, he had a serious claim towards partial ownership but she would be damned if that would let it stop <em> her </em> from being impartial.) “What do you think you’re doing, <em> pendejo </em> ??” She was due in less than 2 months and all the pent-up emotions from the last few weeks were about to cause her to rain down unholy fire on the Devil himself. “<em>¿Qué le has hecho a él? </em>”</p>
<p>Dan took a deep breath and rolled his eyes dramatically. “Honestly, it’s nothing! He-”</p>
<p>Lucifer stabbed a finger at him, “we are getting this settled one way or another. If I find out my Father was involved-”</p>
<p>“I had a relationship with your <em> MOM</em>, not your <em> DAD</em>.” A look came over his face, “of course, if He’s as hot as either you or-”</p>
<p>Wheeling back around, he started to say something to Carla, looked down at her prominent belly, and recoiled. He never liked being around pregnant people - often eyeing them as if the pending child was going to instantly fly out and clamber on him. “Perhaps there’s someone else we can-”</p>
<p>She grabbed a sign-in clipboard and shoved it against Lucifer’s chest. “<em>Mi Diablo</em>, you are going to get checked in, get your room, and if you’re very lucky, someone will be in to see you before dinner.”</p>
<p>Weakly, and beginning to wilt under her gaze, “but it’s 9 am…”</p>
<p>“Unless there actually is something wrong with my Dan, and then you’re going to hear it from the whole hospital for being a <em> punta</em>. Tell me very clearly why you’re being mean to my favorite cousin, or you may never get back out of here without dealing with <em> miles </em> of paperwork.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you deal with intractable patients all the time? Surely-”</p>
<p>“<em>LUCIFER</em>.”</p>
<p>Absolutely no one in the waiting area was looking at them. But they were doing it very, very hard.</p>
<p>The Devil grumbled loudly, “how am I supposed to know what tests he needs. Daniel is <em> clearly </em> ill and doesn’t want to deal with it.”</p>
<p>Dan waved his hands in protest, “I’m NOT <em>ill</em>. I just feel a little...gross. That’s all.”</p>
<p>Carla grabbed his face, pulled his jaw open and stuck a (quickly capped) thermometer under his tongue. “Hold still.”</p>
<p>He froze, gawking down at her while she glanced at her wristwatch. Lucifer - wonder of wonders - yanked a very fancy pen out of his coat pocket and started rapidly scribbling on the form. She didn’t actually need him to fill a damn thing out, but it got him to shut the hell up long enough for everyone to take several breaths. </p>
<p>They had about 20 seconds of actual silence while the other nurses at the admitting counter pretended to do their jobs. The thing beeped. </p>
<p>Carla frowned as she looked at it, first ejecting the sanitary cap into the trash. “Slightly elevated temperature, but nothing concerning. Do you feel sick, honey?”</p>
<p>“I’m <em> fine</em>.” Dan did look a touch relieved that he didn’t have much of a temperature.</p>
<p>Lucifer pointed his pen at him, “he’s been throwing up every morning for a week. Violently. Not always just the morning.”</p>
<p>She turned her glare to Dan. “That actually doesn’t sound like <em> fine</em>. I’m starting to see why Luci is mad - you should have at least called me, or your regular doctor. Anything else?”</p>
<p>Dan crossed his arms. “It’s not a big deal, Carla. I probably just had some bad food.”</p>
<p>Lucifer scoffed. “You’ve only been eating what I’ve been feeding you, and Chloe has been fine.”</p>
<p>“There was that potluck at the precinct.”</p>
<p>To Carla, he added, “he’s been sluggish, headachey, and unreasonably irritable about <em> everything</em>.”</p>
<p>She raised an eyebrow, “everything? Sounds like me a few months ago, except the ‘unreasonable’ part.” </p>
<p>“Hey, baby! Hey Satan!”</p>
<p>Lucifer glanced up, “Christopher, you are well aware-”</p>
<p>Turk gestured past them, “I was talking to Mrs. Cox. But it’s good to see you too.”</p>
<p>Jordan waved, no longer pregnant herself but no baby present either. She had appeared at the far end of the admitting desk sometime in the last few minutes, drawn to drama like a moth to the flame. “He doesn’t want it, I’ll take ‘Satan’, I wear that term better than he does. What drags you into this godforsaken place? And where’s the one of you I actually like, hotness notwithstanding?”</p>
<p>Gritting his teeth, Lucifer signed the bottom of the form with a flourish and ignored Jordan. “Here! <em> Now </em> can we get checked in, preferably before the whole circus arrives?”</p>
<p>Carla plucked the board from him and handed it over the counter to an admitting nurse. “Now who’s being unreasonably irritable? Come with me,” over her shoulder, she added, “Julia, make sure you shred that form, please?”</p>
<p>“You made me fill out that entire-”</p>
<p>“Follow me. Both of you.”</p>
<p>Dan groaned loudly, “I’m not even-”</p>
<p>“MOVE.”</p>
<p>Carla’s husband wisely got out of their way as the group went past, but threw out, “Just let me know if someone needs cut into, okay? I’m the designated Heavenly Body slicer, know what I mean?!”</p>
<p>Laverne came around from the opposite side, appearing with a cup of coffee and returning from a break. She caught a view of Lucifer waving his arms but following Dan and Carla further into the hospital and grumped. “I miss all the good stuff.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>The pair plus Carla quickly shuffled into the special room that Lucifer had basically outright purchased, primarily for his own use, at the hospital. It had been one of the largest rooms, rarely used since the open space made most patients uncomfortable. The hospital was almost never full, so converting it to a place that an angel could extend their wings should the need arise, was simple math - no one would bother them and Kelso got another source of income for the older hospital - even if he remained blissfully unaware of its true purpose.</p>
<p>(Janitor continued to leave previously collected wing feathers around where Dr. Kelso would stumble across them; just for his own added entertainment. Upon spotting one, Bob would gear up for a rousing complaint about how filthy the hospital was getting, right up until he got up close to it, then he’d stop and glare at it, abruptly shudder and then retreat at full speed. He’d apparently then forget all about it within minutes, allowing Janitor endless amusement with repeat experiments.)</p>
<p>Lucifer left instructions for the use of his room. He didn't actually expect to ever need it himself (again), but just in case, it was kept ready if he ever had to crash in, literally or figuratively. The suite was well-lit and fully stocked, with a full bathroom and an almost kitchenette - no stove. Pringles and Nutella, along with three kinds of bottled water (still, flavored, and fizzy) and many other assorted goodies were kept in a cabinet. He didn’t particularly care if JD and the others raided the supply as long as it got restocked- he had pockets more than deep enough to keep a rotating stream of fresh snacks, various drinks and booze, and he didn’t care to let things go stale or have to be thrown out. Lucifer wasn’t precious about his personal stash as long as it was kept topped off, even with his own funding.</p>
<p>Dr. Kelso had been more than willing to not look too closely into how the room was managed; it wasn't as if there weren't already private practice doctors all over the place. If Bob stole from the mini-bar now and then, no one really cared. Lucifer consumed far more (and spent far more) on a daily basis just in his penthouse.</p>
<p>The 'Morningstar Suite' also stood as a standing safe place for people who needed a favor from Lucifer, with the added bonus of a select group of hospital staff who don't ask silly questions about financing, as long as they arrived with a note from Lucifer. Normally the second thing asked after "what's your full name and date of birth," was, "how are you paying for your visit?" </p>
<p>Fortunately, the room was currently otherwise unoccupied. </p>
<p>Half the aforementioned ‘circus’ found an excuse to wander back and forth down the hallway outside their room while Carla left again to gather whatever supplies she needed that wasn’t already present. She had shoved a gown at Dan and told him to change before scooting out again.</p>
<p>With as much grumbling as possible, Dan hauled his soft t-shirt over his head and threw it at Lucifer. “This is absolutely not necessary. I’m feeling better already-” his pronouncement was interrupted by rapidly rising acid that left his tongue tasting heavy and metallic. </p>
<p>Lucifer danced out of the way as Dan made it to the biohazard bin and threw up in it, while he held Dan’s shirt over his face to filter the smell of vomit. </p>
<p>The door flew open, admitting Elliot rather than the expected Carla. “Dan! Guys! Fricklesticks.” Working quickly, she ran cool water in the sink and dampened a stack of paper towels, wrung them out and handed them to Lucifer, who looked at them with a befuddled expression. “Put that on the back of his neck.”</p>
<p>They got a somewhat shaky Dan sitting on the edge of the examination bed, Lucifer standing and pressing the cool towels to Dan’s neck and holding them gently. Elliot turned, rubbed her hands rapidly with sanitizer gel, snapped a paper mask over her face and held a cupped hand under Dan’s nose, “here, take a hard sniff.”</p>
<p>Looking vaguely puzzled, he did, jerking away but immediately starting to feel better. “What’s that?”</p>
<p>“Getting a whiff of alcohol will clear your nose so you don’t smell your own barf so much. It usually helps to keep you from throwing up again right away. What’s wrong, buddy?” She squirted more sanitizer into his hands - partly to give him something to focus on and partly to help him feel less gross overall. </p>
<p>"Where's Carla?"</p>
<p>"She tagged me in - since you're family, it’ll be good to have an extra pair of hands and eyes. Plus, we know all about your lover boy, so there's no need to get anyone outside Mile-High Club involved."</p>
<p>Both Lucifer and Dan shot her a look.</p>
<p>"Y'know, ‘cause wings? And it sounds normal enough not to make other people curious."</p>
<p>Lucifer smirked. "I've got a whole different membership for <em> that</em>. Not that I've flown on airlines often. But as I don't care for hurling myself across the sky under my own power, metal wings work fine."</p>
<p>She sighed. "Dude, if I had wings, I would fly <em> all the time-" </em></p>
<p>Dan grunted and dipped his head. </p>
<p>"Hey, sorry. Tell me what's going on?"</p>
<p>A short rap preceded JD barging in, with an indulgent smile, "well if it isn't my favorite underworld dweller and-"</p>
<p>"Can we not?" Lucifer snapped, fire edging his irises in a sweeping glow, his hand still holding the damp paper towels to Dan's neck. </p>
<p>JD muttered, "someone's grumpy." Louder and to Dan (and much more professionally), he said, "actually, you do look a little green. We can run a flu swab to rule that out. Have you eaten anything at all that may have caused food poisoning or have you been exposed to toxins at work or at home?"</p>
<p>Dan sat up a little straighter and shrugged into the pale blue cloth gown, open at the front. He got a gratifyingly disappointed sigh from Eliot over covering himself, so that at least improved his mood somewhat. "Can I have some water? Doubtful on the toxins, but I can double-check with Ella on any current or previous crime scenes I've been at. I haven't actually eaten much this whole week - I can't keep much of anything down."</p>
<p>Lucifer clucked at him while Elliot grabbed a chilled bottle of water from the fridge. "Darling, you didn't say. I saw you consume several pots of pudding this week."</p>
<p>"That's about the only thing I can eat, actually."</p>
<p>“How about fluids?”</p>
<p>“Water, soda sometimes. No juice, I get acidy from it.”</p>
<p>JD pulled down a blood pressure cuff, velcroing it securely around the arm Dan automatically extended. "So, I never actually asked, but you're. Uh. Not one of <em> them </em>, right?"</p>
<p>Lucifer grunted. "I'm standing right here."</p>
<p>"I just need to know what tests to run. Not that <em> your </em> baseline was all that far off from an athletic person with, frankly a much different diet than you, but-"</p>
<p>Dan's nostrils flared. "Yeah, just your standard human here."</p>
<p>Elliot hummed, "with arms for days…"</p>
<p>Lucifer appeared amused. "You have no idea." He uncapped the water bottle, passing it to a grateful Dan. </p>
<p>Carla finally reappeared as JD finished with the cuff and his own temperature check. "Hey, you look better already, Dandy."</p>
<p>He made a face. "Thanks. Can I go now?”</p>
<p>JD glanced over him. "You're a little warm, and your pulse might be a little faster than I like, but your BP is within normal. I want to run blood to check for common toxins, see if any of your vitamin, iron, or even blood cell counts are off."</p>
<p>Lucifer looked utterly blank, so Elliot jumped in, "if Dan's white cell count is high, he has an underlying condition. Anemia is also possible if his red count is off, and we’ll check for any other deficiencies or conditions that fit what we find.”</p>
<p>"Like what?"</p>
<p>"It's way too early to suggest something. The quicker tests shouldn't take longer than twenty minutes. In the meantime, I'll just run a flu swab and Carla here will do your blood draw, if that's okay with you."</p>
<p>"Yeah?"</p>
<p>"She's the best sticker around here, honestly. I'm known to leave bruises."</p>
<p>Carla muttered in Spanish but washed her hands in the sink. Gamely, Dan grinned and responded in Spanish, letting Elliot and JD flounder.</p>
<p>Lucifer, speaking all languages, obediently chuckled in parts. </p>
<p>Carla paused speaking to listen to his heart and lungs with her stethoscope, writing notes as she went. She stuck an ox/pulse clip onto his finger and made more conversation in Spanish. He gradually began to relax. </p>
<p>Elliot suddenly perked up. "Hey, I heard 'Trixie!' How is she?"</p>
<p>Dan was already feeling much better. Swallowing another mouthful of water first, he answered, "she's doing great actually. She loves having two dads. Hey, I haven't sent out invites yet, but we're sort of planning a wedding. Not like, a <em> wedding </em>wedding-"</p>
<p>Carla exploded into rapid-fire Spanish and threw her arms around him. He hugged her back, grinning. She had to stop and wash her hands again, finally interrupted by Elliot snapping her fingers. "Hey! Where's the ring?"</p>
<p>Dan blushed. "So, I have one, but it doesn't fit on my finger right now. I forgot to add that- for some reason, my hands are a little, I don't know, retaining water or something? Is that a thing?"</p>
<p>Carla eyed her cousin. "I can't take my ring off right now because I'm due soon," she laughed and pulled on a pair of gloves, "you're presenting a lot of the same symptoms I had early in my pregnancy."</p>
<p>Elliot ignored Dan in favor of looking hopefully at Lucifer’s hands. "Do <em> you </em>have a ring?"</p>
<p>Lucifer preened as he showed it off, explaining Chloe had a similar set - each had a pair of rings, one for the engagement and the second to be added at a ceremony. They picked them out together, and Lucifer's silver and gold ring matched well on the left-hand ring finger, opposite the onyx ring on his right middle.</p>
<p>Carla smiled gently as she smoothed her finger pad down the inside of Dan's elbow, finding the vein easily. "You can wear it on a necklace chain if this symptom doesn't go away. Hopefully, you don't have any kidney issues and this is just something easily fixed."</p>
<p>JD asked more questions; most of which Dan wasn't sure about the answer to. The three of them all got a little more tense, glancing at each other almost uncomfortably when he replied, “no, yeah, literally throwing up every day here.”</p>
<p>Dan sighed as Carla withdrew the needle, tugged off the tourniquet, bandaged him, and collected her test tubes of his blood. "Hey, I'm not dying, alright?"</p>
<p>JD bit his lip. "We're going to have you provide a urine sample too. There are cups in the bathroom."</p>
<p>Lucifer growled, "he's going to be fine, is he not?"</p>
<p>Elliot pushed her hair back. "Dan, your vitals are all within normal, but swollen extremities can be a serious sign for a few different things, plus throwing up for a week isn't exactly a good sign either - <em> that </em> might be as treatable as an ulcer somewhere in your gastrointestinal lining. You may have developed a new allergy to something, which would explain swelling. At this point, I’m not willing to call it ‘probably nothing.’ if you're unlucky, it might be multiple issues. I'm gonna swab you now. Okay?"</p>
<p>He endured each of the steps, feeling more like a lab rat by the second. At some point during the ordeal, he noticed Lucifer’s hand had clasped over his. It helped calm his nerves.</p>
<p>A new light tap on the door made Dan look over again, wondering who was crashing the party now. Thankfully, it was only Chloe, with her hair pulled up into a signature ponytail and brow furrowed. “Hey, how are you?”</p>
<p>“At least we have the big room.”</p>
<p>Carla smiled softly. ‘Hey, sis. I hear congratulations are in order. You guys better invite me to the wedding.”</p>
<p>Chloe wanted to hug her, but everyone was in full ‘professional’ mode, so she restrained herself. She smiled quickly, “of course, we just have to pick a date first.” She ran a thumb over her own engagement ring - similar to Lucifer’s, only thinner, and with small black stones set along the top. She walked over, squeezed Lucifer’s free hand, and touched Dan’s arm. “What’s going on?”</p>
<p>Carla continued, “we’re going to run some tests.”</p>
<p>Elliot nodded, “right now we don’t have an easy answer. Unless he’s pregnant.”</p>
<p>If anything, Dan went even paler. </p>
<p>She laughed it off with a hand wave, “I’m kidding. It does fit all the symptoms if you have the parts. You are a dude, right?”</p>
<p>Lucifer scoffed, then smirked. "If you're asking about his anatomy, yes. He has been <em> thoroughly </em> inspected."</p>
<p>Chloe squinted at her fiances, zeroing in on Dan, and not commenting on the impossibility of such a thing. “What’s this now? What symptoms have you been hiding?”</p>
<p>Carla held up the tubes of blood. “And now I’m out. Dan, honey, don’t forget the pee cup. And no, we won’t run a pregnancy test on the urine, it doesn’t work that way in this case. In the meantime, we’ll make sure you don’t have the flu and get labs started on your blood, alright?” She exited, with a last sympathetic look at Dan. “Don’t worry, you’re in good hands.”</p>
<p>Shrugging off more help, Dan slid off the end of the table. “Fine, do you want to wait for the cup?”</p>
<p>Under her breath, Elliot said, “only if I can watch him take his pants off too.”</p>
<p>Lucifer smirked. “I have excellent hearing, darling, but I doubt he’s feeling well enough to put on a show.”</p>
<p>She blushed fiercely. “I mean-” she cleared her throat. "If you can do it - go now, yeah, I can wait a minute.”</p>
<p>Chloe rubbed Dan's shoulder. "Do you need help?"</p>
<p>He snapped irritably, "I think I can manage taking my own pants off." Without looking back, he kicked his shoes into a corner of the room and nearly slammed the door to the bathroom.</p>
<p>Elliot pushed her hair back. "Who pissed in his Cheerios?"</p>
<p>Lucifer sighed. "He's been like this for a month."</p>
<p>"I've seriously seen pregnant women who don't get that irritable."</p>
<p>Chloe went to make coffee. Because of course, the suite had a pod-coffee machine. “Shouldn’t you be a little empathic?”</p>
<p>JD cut in, “She’s just jealous because everyone is having babies-”</p>
<p>“I DO NOT want a baby. I think I’ve made that perfectly clear.”</p>
<p>“I was going to say, and all the attention is on Carla and Jordan.”</p>
<p>“Ass. That’s not much better. And doctors make light of conditions all the time. It’s better to over-test than under-test. I mean, he does have some stuff going on that does need to be treated. We can recommend an over-the-counter acid reducer if the vomiting is due to an ulcer, but the rest of his symptoms...”</p>
<p>Chloe drank her coffee black. "Do you think it's serious? I know you don’t want to say anything, but?"</p>
<p>Glancing back at the door, then JD, she shook her head. "Depending on what comes back with the initial blood results, I’d say plan on him being here for a few hours, minimum.”</p>
<p>Dan returned, sans pants but still in a dingy gown, and thrust a labeled quarter-full cup of warm liquid at her. “Here.”</p>
<p>Lucifer grumbled, “is <em> that </em> something we can add to the stockpile? ‘Nicer hospital gowns?’ My tailor has put up with some interesting requests from me over the years, I’m sure he could source some for this room.”</p>
<p>She almost dropped the sample, shooting him a look, then taking a longer peek at the cup. “Are you having trouble going?”</p>
<p>He started to say something she was sure she wasn’t going to like, so she added, “It’s a valid medical question.” </p>
<p>“If anything, I’m peeing more often.”</p>
<p>“Hmm. You can take a seat in one of the recliners if you want while you wait. It doesn’t have to be on the table.”</p>
<p>Lucifer, never particularly good at comforting people, stroked Dan’s hair after he got settled. It seemed to work though. He let out a long breath and leaned slightly toward Lucifer, who asked, “should we worry about it catching?”</p>
<p>JD made space for Elliot to retreat with her notes and the cup of urine. “It’s been a week, so if it’s the flu, you’ve already been exposed. Or I guess Ms. Decker has. We always ask people to stay home if they might be sick, but it’s like pulling teeth to get them to isolate. We can order some anti-viral medication if he comes back positive - otherwise - honestly - Tylenol, hydration and bedrest work best. Unless there is an infection - does he have any allergies to antibiotics?”</p>
<p>Chloe shook her head. “No. I haven’t felt sick, either.”</p>
<p>“If you think it best, believe me, I can keep them all at home. If necessary, I can deal with the urchin myself.”</p>
<p>Chloe smiled at him. “You’d suck it up and take care of her if Dan and I got sick?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely not. She adores Maze, who also can’t get sick. My demon will watch over her.”</p>
<p>“And if Maze is unavailable? I’m pretty sure she’s preoccupied with Linda and Amenadiel.”</p>
<p>“I suppose...you two have raised a tolerable child. It’s not like I have to start over from scratch with a brand new mini-me. I don’t envy my brother for that. And Beatrice does listen to me from time to time, unlike an infant would.”</p>
<p>“She loves you, you know.”</p>
<p>JD frowned. “Your brother is having a kid? Like a real angel baby? Is that a thing?”</p>
<p>“It is now. I’m sure Carla knows already. Dan, you did tell her, right?”</p>
<p>Dan bit his lip. “Uhm.”</p>
<p>“She’s gonna slap you when she gets back. If you aren’t sick.”</p>
<p>JD smirked. “As much as I want to be here when she comes back so I can watch that, I need to finish my other rounds. In the meantime, we’ll get a rolling bed in here in case we need it. I’ll ask Carla to bring in an IV bag in case we need that too.” </p>
<p>Dan groaned. “This was a terrible idea.”</p>
<p>Elliot shifted impatiently with her hands full. "We'll let you guys have some privacy, okay?" they started to turn away, ducking their heads together and heading out. </p>
<p>Before they had two words together, Lucifer spoke up, “wait, are you both leaving us? What if something terrible happens while you’re gone?”</p>
<p>Dan rubbed his face. “Oh my-”</p>
<p>“Do not finish that statement.”</p>
<p>Elliot shook her bangs out of her face. “Unless you have something to add, you don’t need us here while we wait for results,” she added gently, “we have other patients we can’t leave hanging. If you want, I can see if Dr. Cox can drop in - he loves talking about you in particular.”</p>
<p>JD put on a slightly strained look. “He likes to threaten his more difficult patients into cooperation by knowing the Devil and ‘having his phone number.’”</p>
<p>Lucifer looked vaguely horrified but also intrigued. </p>
<p>“Honestly, it seems to work - especially when you answer. It’s actually helped us out a few times. You’d be amazed at how many people just don’t want to do what they need to, even something simple like taking a pill.”</p>
<p>“I suppose that explains the bizarre conversation I had a few weeks back when I answered Perry’s call and was rudely hung up on almost immediately.”</p>
<p>He nodded eagerly, “Oh yeah, that was a good one. As soon as the woman heard your voice, she was convinced it was really <em> you</em>. Satan, I mean. It worked like a charm.”</p>
<p>Chloe tilted her head. "I mean, that is basically what you do at work."</p>
<p>"There's an <em> art </em> to my powers, you can't just wave my reputation about like a magic wand!"</p>
<p>Elliot grinned. "The devil made me do it. For a good cause. Seriously, you wouldn't believe how many people are willing to follow the simplest instructions.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Carla came back, several tense hours later, trailed by Dr. Cox, who followed on her heels. She tried to close the door in his face but failed. “Dr. Cox, we’re fine here!”</p>
<p>“I’ll be the judge of that. No, seriously, because the rest of you yahoos don’t seem to care about what might be a <em> really </em> interesting case after all.”</p>
<p>Words that no patient in the world ever wanted to hear. </p>
<p>Dan stayed where he was, slowly embedding himself into the recliner and, until then, trying to chill with a distracting phone game. He stuffed his phone into the cupholder and waited. </p>
<p>Lucifer didn’t. “What on earth does that mean?”</p>
<p>“I think you mean ‘what in hell.’ Regardless, we do seem to have a bit of a mystery here. The good news is, his blood cell count came back as normal on all fronts, so in that sense, he’s healthy as a hellhound. Or I assume good ole’ Cerberus is healthy, being around for so long. We haven't and won't have any results back on cancer markers for a while, but the fact that your white and reds are all in order, I don't expect anything to come back as abnormal there." </p>
<p>“You are far too amused at yourself for your own good. And there aren’t any <em> three-headed </em> hellhounds. Last I checked, he was fine, thank you.”</p>
<p>“I’ll take what I can get, and I am usually the most entertaining person around here. Carla wants to pull more blood, but given the nature of your boyfriend, I think I’m right and I usually am. Strike that, I always am. What he does have blood markers for is of an <em> unexpected </em> nature, but here we are.”</p>
<p>She rolled her eyes. “Dan’s still-”</p>
<p>To Carla, “DO not,” he dramatically pronounced it ‘naught’, “ruin this for me. Seriously. I don’t get to actually do this kind of thing all that often, and if I’m right - and again - <em> I am</em>, I am dropping everything else to be on this case to the end of the line.”</p>
<p>Dan sat up. “Wait, what? What end of the line? Am I dying?”</p>
<p>Dr. Cox’s poker face remained solidly in place. “In a sense. Your body is siphoning off extra resources to support a parasitic invasion. Your hormone levels are changing to accommodate it, and I’m guessing once we set up equipment to take a look at the lil’ bugger, you’ll have already developed structures to support it. The fact you aren’t dead right now proves at least that last aspect. While I don’t have any guesses as to the ‘how’, I do have a diagnosis for ‘what is’. As much as I desperately want to write up a study paper on you for this, I’m going to take a guess it’s not repeatable with anyone else, in the same way, at least. Unless it does happen to you again, in which case I want a lot more scans and bloodwork, from beginning to end.”</p>
<p>Both Lucifer and Chloe looked from Dr. Cox to Dan and back, then Carla, who had her arms crossed above her large belly in annoyance. She grumbled. “I have no idea where he's going with this. There are a couple of nasty blood disorders that are much more likely - sorry, Dan.”</p>
<p>“Carla, my dear, there is only one explanation I’m interested in, given the present and previous circumstances, and I’ve ordered a particular type of scan with equipment that will be here momentarily.”</p>
<p>Dan finally sat up. “I have a parasite? I thought you said I was dying?”</p>
<p>"Well. If it doesn't stop on its own, or isn’t stopped, at or around the usual accepted time, it will <em> definitely </em> kill you. Actually, we can pretty much bank on about a billion unforeseen problems cropping up. Not least of which is gonna be getting it out. Safely, anyway. We can have that discussion later, but it may require a longer than usual stay. I hope you have vacation time saved up."</p>
<p>Lucifer's wings slowly extended, as if doing so on their own; he seemed unaware he was doing it.</p>
<p>“Aha!” Dr. Cox quickly stepped forward and <em> plucked </em>a feather from Lucifer's left wing. Chloe gaped and Lucifer glared. "What do you think you're doing?"</p>
<p>Unperturbed by the commitment of lazy blasphemy, he waved the puff of feather about. "I've been informed these things have healing properties. You know what else they have? Have you ever stuck one into a potted plant? Okay, I didn't do it, but the janitor did, and the plant not only grew five feet, but also bloomed out of season. Over the timespan of ten minutes. The funny part was no one seemed to notice how bizarre it was. I'm theorizing I'd be in the same boat if I didn't know what these really are."</p>
<p>Chloe squinted, "why...?"</p>
<p>"Janitor had a stash of leftover feathers from Beelzebub's surgery. I'm sure he wasn't expecting them to actually <em> do </em> anything. I hope he wasn't.  If it makes you feel better, I got the rest of them and stored them away for safety. No, I haven’t tried it out on random people, that would be unethical.”</p>
<p>Lucifer growled out, "and? Your point is?"</p>
<p>Cox looked pointedly at Dan, twirling the feather between two fingers. "Have you, say, committed particularly creative acts of adultery involving your wings or feathers?" He laughed, "God knows I would."</p>
<p>Carla threw her hands up in the air, muttering in Spanish. Dan sat up straighter. "What, are you saying there's a feather…"</p>
<p>"Not <em> anymore</em>. Probably. I got to thinking about your symptoms, and the idea that Luci-loo here grew his wings back on his own. <em> That </em> is an enormous amount of flesh and bone to regenerate. Something much smaller probably doesn't take as much energy- whatever form we're talking about. So, why can't one medical impossibly <em> beget </em> another? You are your father's son, and apparently, have <em> that </em> asshole to thank for eventually creating my ex-wife."</p>
<p>"Dan's not an angel. I don't talk to my Father. He gifted each of us a variety of powers, but none have them all."</p>
<p>"True. But you are an angel. Of the McDonald's caliber. As I understand it, a very powerful one. This isn't exactly something we covered in Med school, so I'm working blind."</p>
<p>Lucifer’s face went through a series of contortions.</p>
<p>"Arches. Arch Angel. Apparently my glowing wit is completely wasted here."</p>
<p>With a furrowed brow, Eliott wheeled in an ultrasound machine. "You asked for this?”</p>
<p>"Thanks, Barbie. Dad, assume the position on the bed, and open your gown. Get under the sheets to your pelvis. You can tuck them around your hips if you want.</p>
<p>Dan didn't bother correcting him, and he was the only dad Cox could be referring to. He did as instructed, again with a not-so-discreet hum from Elliot, but whatever. "What are you looking for? The...parasite is in my stomach?"</p>
<p>"Lower. It doesn't <em> have </em> to be where it might normally, all things considered, but it's a good place to start."</p>
<p>Chloe inhaled. "Wait. Are you saying-"</p>
<p>"I always said you were the smart one. Hang on, I'm about to do the big reveal."</p>
<p>He had washed his hands, put on gloves, and retrieved a bottle of gel while talking. Elliot turned down the overhead lights and cleaned off Dan's belly while he prepped. Dr.Cox gleefully drew a pentagram in gel and pressed down with the business end of the ultrasound wand. Dan winced.</p>
<p>"Damn. I need to work on my routine. Do you go to a local gym, or? ... okay, here we go." Within a minute, Cox gave a triumphant hoot and the sound of an electronically distorted heartbeat filled the room. </p>
<p>Chloe made a small sound. She and Dan both had heard this before. She stepped up closer to peer at the screen, a hand over her mouth.</p>
<p>Lucifer hadn't <em> quite </em> made the connection. "...I don't understand. Why does the parasite have a heartbeat?"</p>
<p>"As long as everything proceeds as normal, you, my dear Devil, are going to have a hellspawn."</p>
<p>Lucifer pushed forward to look at the grainy screen, then at Dan who looked stunned. "Is he going to be okay?"</p>
<p>In his usual diplomatic fashion, Cox shrugged. "Hell if I know. It does look like he's generated a womb for it, since it's alive, and I assume well, at least for now. You, Douche, appear to be around two months along. With luck, this will be the most boring medical anomaly in history and we can schedule a C-section when we have a better idea of development, assuming a nine-month gestation. I don't suppose the brother's kid-to-be had or has any indications of abnormalities?"</p>
<p>"I honestly have no idea. I could ask Amenadiel to drop in, if you really need more information."</p>
<p>"He's made it this far, which isn't to say things couldn't go sideways tomorrow. Ideally, I don't want to discharge him <em> at all</em>. Two of you have potentially hazardous jobs and the more time you spend here, the better the odds are of us being able to deal with an emergency."</p>
<p>Dan leaned up on his elbows. "Hey, can I see?"</p>
<p>Chloe came around to squeeze his shoulder. "Wow. Trixie's gonna have a sibling."</p>
<p>Carla blinked. "I'll be damned. Okay, I'll get you scheduled for everything else. I don't know if we should get one of the gyno girls in for this. Hopefully, we can manage it without anyone having to look too closely, and hope nothing goes wrong. We are going to start some supplements and change your diet starting immediately." She licked her teeth, thinking. "Uhm, Dan, I do need to ask…"</p>
<p>"No, I don't have, or didn't have any extra parts, that I know of. Is this actually happening?"</p>
<p>With a displacement of air, Amenadiel appeared, looking irritated and with a pack of cloth under his arm. "What's the urgency- wait, who are these people?"</p>
<p>Carla squealed and jumped behind the unoccupied exam table. "What the Hell?!"</p>
<p>Dr. Cox started but covered by tensing and tightly folding his arms. He had at least witnessed Lucifer's abrupt departure before. "You'd think that, but no, not Hell. Angel brother I assume?"</p>
<p>"I was out shopping. Luci, just how many humans know who you are now?"</p>
<p>"Not enough, in my opinion. I need you to answer this man's questions about your impending fatherhood."</p>
<p>"How can that possibly be relevant? To anything? Dan, are you sick?"</p>
<p>Dan closed his gown, assuming they were done for now. "Apparently we have something in common. Sort of."</p>
<p>Cox sighed. "As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm in getting here, we can do this by a regular appointment, especially since you aren't the one carrying a nephilim. That said, we definitely won't turn down any biological samples you're willing to give up."</p>
<p>Elliot finally recovered. "Wow. Are all your family members this hot?"</p>
<p>Amenadiel snorted. "How do you find so many sexually motivated humans, Luci?"</p>
<p>"You found one yourself, so we can dispense with the pot calling."</p>
<p>He didn't argue that point. "Can you please just tell me what's going on so I can get back to the retail store?" He waved his stack of burp cloths in the air.</p>
<p>"My fiance is pregnant."</p>
<p>He didn’t hear any difference between the female designation and the male. "I take it this wasn't planned either. I guess that's the odds you run with having human partners." Amenadiel looked apologetically, and with a vaguely confused expression to Chloe. "Congratulations to you both. Or you three. I'm sure Luci will make a good father to another young human. He cares deeply for your original child as well. But why did you call?"</p>
<p>Chloe grinned. "It's not mine, actually. Or maybe it could be mine too - I was there when the amazing wing … um. Stuff...happened." Her face abruptly froze. "Wait. Do I need a pregnancy test too? If this can happen, can it break birth control methods?"</p>
<p>Elliot swallowed. "Hey, why don't you come with me real quick and we can check while these guys sort out Dan?"</p>
<p>"But I haven't missed my period…"</p>
<p>"Oh, honey, if you had any idea how often we hear that. C'mon, it'll take two seconds, assuming it happened at the same time. The pee test may not work, but we can do a blood test too."</p>
<p>Chloe bit her lip and nodded, stepping out with her.</p>
<p>Amenadiel blinked owlishly. "Wait, if <em> Chloe's </em> not pregnant-"</p>
<p>Dan groaned. "God, I hope she's not. It’s going to be hard enough with just me."</p>
<p>"...Remy will not be pleased. She thought my child was actually yours."</p>
<p>Cox rubbed his nose. "I don't know who this Remy is, but all of a sudden this is a show I could definitely watch."</p>
<p>Amenadiel ignored him. "My younger brother is going to be a father! Is there something we don't know about Celestials who've been down here a long time?"</p>
<p>Lucifer quirked an eyebrow. Dryly, "I suppose I could have remained in Hell, and then we'd never know?"</p>
<p>"Luci...you know I won’t take you back-”</p>
<p>“I’d like to see you try. And it wasn’t that long ago you would have. And <em> did</em>.”</p>
<p>Dr. Cox waved at Carla, “hey, go see if there’s popcorn in the snack cabinet.”</p>
<p>“You go check. I still have a job to do. Whenever these two knock it off.”</p>
<p>Dan lay back down on the rolling bed. “Can we please go home now?”</p>
<p>With a last dark look at Amenadiel, Lucifer sat down next to Dan. “I dislike the idea of you having to stay longer, but if the good doctor is right about needing to monitor you…”</p>
<p>Perry Cox made do with a pack of Doritos. “My main concern is that your body will suddenly decide to reject it and it can’t go anywhere. If that happens, you could succumb to a raging infection very rapidly. In some of those cases, being on-site may not actually be good enough. On the other hand, you’ve made it this far. When you’re further along, I really want to get a sample of whatever fluids you’re creating to sustain it. Carla, you may want to leave for this next part - let’s get your feet up in the stirrups so I can get a close look.”</p>
<p>“Oh fuck me.”</p>
<p>Carla sighed. “Okay, but I want to know if anything is up. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” She pulled the curtain around the door for extra privacy and stepped out. Amenadiel quickly exited too, with a, “just text me next time!”</p>
<p>Hands washed again and gloves on, Dr. Cox continued commenting, but in a slightly soothing tone. “Yeah, no new exit holes, not that I can see, and it’s definitely not coming out any other way. If your temperature changes in either direction, I want you back here right away. Normally, I abhor patients coming back for any dumb reason, but even small changes could indicate problems that can make the difference between life and death, not to put too fine a point on it. Plus, I really want to see how this turns out.” He stripped his gloves off and tossed them into a can, followed with handing Dan a few cleaning wipes. “How do you feel?”</p>
<p>“Great, I think. Now anyway. My stomach won’t stay in one place though.” He sat up and wrapped himself tightly in the gown.  </p>
<p>Chloe returned, looking so relieved that Dan didn’t doubt the results for her test. “Nope! Looks like it’s only your turn. My IUD seems to be working fine.”</p>
<p>Lucifer’s sigh was dramatic. "Well thank Dad for that. No offense, husband-to-be.”</p>
<p>"None taken. Two pregnancies right now would be absolute hell. No pun intended. Is there a … checklist or something?"</p>
<p>Chloe rolled her eyes. "Don't you remember anything from ours? No booze, no smoking - which means Luci has to stop too-"</p>
<p>Perry clucked approval but Lucifer huffed, "but I'm not the one with the spawn."</p>
<p>"You're also not the one risking cancer, at least when around us. I was going to ask you to stop anyway once we're all moved in together. We can still smell it on you even if you just step out to smoke."</p>
<p>He started to add an extra complaint but looked over at Dan again. "I suppose I can make sacrifices. I've seen plenty of pregnant humans but this is the first time I've been responsible for one."</p>
<p>Dr. Cox raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" Then without missing a beat asked, "I don't suppose you'd be willing to provide a sample-"</p>
<p>Chloe and Dan both replied, "no."</p>
<p>"My partners, and even siblings have been adamant that such things don't enter the chain of evidence. But you already believe-"</p>
<p>"I know. I don't <em> believe. </em>There's a difference. In any case, I'm still not convinced you feathered people aren't aliens. Doesn't mean you don't need help from time to time."</p>
<p>Lucifer waved his arms around in an expansive 'see what I have to deal with?' gesture. </p>
<p>"Anyway, I'd prefer if the patient follows the standard protocol- no drinking, no smoking - or exposure to smoke - reduce your caffeine to one cup of coffee a day, take prenatal vitamins including folic acid. Eat better and start cutting back your workout routine, preferably starting now but definitely in a few months. How soon and how long can you take time off work?"</p>
<p>Lucifer said, "immediately and indefinitely." At the same time, Dan said, "with a few weeks heads up, a couple months."</p>
<p>They glared at each other. The Devil said, "I could get away with being visibly pregnant at work for likely most of the duration. You're still mortal and I can charm my way out of any explanation, even without lying. You should be on desk duty only, or home."</p>
<p>"We all work at the same place. You can keep a closer eye on me there."</p>
<p>Lucifer grunted. "True. But with that compromise, I’m not going out to crime scenes if you aren’t.”</p>
<p>“C’mon. Chloe worked the whole first two trimesters and up to six weeks before we had Trixie.”</p>
<p>“And if income had been no object; if she could have stayed home the entire time, would you have preferred that?”</p>
<p>Dan just grunted, conceding the point. At the time, it seemed like the time before Trixie had arrived involved less work than after. He suspected his assumptions were about to get challenged on multiple fronts. He hadn’t experienced the hormones she had, and it all had seemed so alien.</p>
<p>The idea that he could potentially lose the new kid, oh and/or <em> die in the process </em> suddenly became overwhelming and his heart began pounding. </p>
<p>Oblivious, Chloe grinned at the doctor. “He would have. I wouldn’t. I was confined to desk duty around the halfway mark and nearly went crazy. But it was nice to see each other when we could.”</p>
<p>Lucifer, focused on the doctor, asked, “any other dietary restrictions? I can get or have anything delivered overnight, or faster."</p>
<p>Cox brushed it off. "Just remember that for the first several months, your calorie intake doesn't need to be all that much higher than normal- if you're hungry, eat. No lunch meat, watch the fish, no soft cheese. There's plenty of good reading material available already. Carla?"</p>
<p>"Yes?"</p>
<p>"I'd like you to check in with them as often as any of you can stand. And then some. If anything goes wrong, I want him here <em> immediately</em>. Understand?"</p>
<p>Lucifer and Chloe nodded. Dan looked concerned. "What can go wrong?"</p>
<p>"Literally anything. I'm not good at sugar-coating so I'm not gonna do that. But, as I said earlier, you're currently alive and healthy, two months in. Normally, we'd stagger out the appointments, but I'd like ultrasounds and blood draws every week."</p>
<p>"Ugh."</p>
<p>Lucifer squeezed Dan's shoulder. "He'll do as he's told. Luckily medicine has come a long way. One hundred years ago, I wouldn't even be in one of these places."</p>
<p>"Chances are good you wouldn't <em> want </em> to be, no argument there. Can you get with the front desk to schedule a standing appointment every week at this time?"</p>
<p>Dan sighed. "The boss won't be happy about that."</p>
<p>"He or she can get over it, especially since you’ll have to talk about scheduling more time off later."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'll set it up."</p>
<p>"I'll write you a note if you need it. I can't and won't lie about the reason, but I don't have to give your boss one. Neither do you, unless you want to. If you want to hide the pregnancy, we can do that too, as much as possible. No one expects a male parental name under 'mom' on the birth certificate but that's down the line, and easy to get around, especially since I've yet to see an insurance card from Satan here. I assume you two are on the state plan."</p>
<p>"I have no idea how my insurance would react.”</p>
<p>“We don’t have to file it. Kelso absolutely loves patients who don’t have insurance, provided they can pay. Odds are he won’t so much as blink at you birdbrains turning up often.”</p>
<p>Lucifer sighed. “The demons may enjoy having him to torture once he goes.”</p>
<p>Thankfully, Carla came in just after Lucifer made that comment and not before. She noted Dr. Cox’s beaming face and did a double-take. “What happened?”</p>
<p>“Oh, nothing. Rest assured, given the confirmation I just heard, I’m setting aside this date as a day I’ll be celebrating every year until I die.”</p>
<p>Assuming that he meant Dan, she punched his arm lightly and smiled at the rest of them. “Oh, that’s so sweet! See, he does have a soul!”</p>
<p>The Devil raised an eyebrow. “And you aren’t concerned for yourself?”</p>
<p>“I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it.”<br/><br/>“Isn’t it ‘cross’?”<br/><br/>“I thought you weren’t a fan of that word.”</p>
<p>“Well. My family isn’t. Crucifixion is far from banned in Hell.”</p>
<p>“Really? What is banned?”</p>
<p>Carla gaped at him.</p>
<p>“What? Call it professional interest.”</p>
<p>“Tickle torture.”<br/><br/>Dr. Cox hissed and everyone else cringed simultaneously.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Any mistakes with the Spanish are entirely my fault.</p>
<p>This will either get a second chapter or the next one will be a mid-term continuation.</p>
<p>I have way too much fun writing Dr.Cox.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>